Hayabusa Wins!! ...banality...

So I just learned that I've been pronouncing "banal" incorrectly since, oh, forever.

Otgay Acksmay?

I just realized I have great junkie veins on my feet and ankles. Probably should get into that. 

Ifay ouyay avehay eedlesnay oray ugadray easeplay allcay.

Sign from Zod

When you come to realize the green light on your vaporizer is a perfect match for the green light coming from your TiVo full of porn...might wanna start thinking about finding a support group for people who think God is talking to them.

Chap Stick

Attention men: 

If you plan on carrying Chap Stick in your front pocket, use a full-length mirror to examine yourself before you leave the house. Chapped lips really aren't so bad compared to the entire world thinking you have the tiniest boner in history.

Delete Search History?

Funny to think about what we will or won't do in terms of Internet searches due to not wanting to have to answer for it later on down the road.

Example: I have no problem researching exactly how those marathon bombers turned a $50 pressure cooker into a bomb that made them world-famous. Or how to make napalm out of household objects. Or what to expect in terms of increased monitoring in the event you make a drunken blog post about recreating the Reagan shooting from the 80s to impress Lzzy Hale (oops, probably shouldn't have done that).

But looking up the whys and hows behind Mac ("It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia") getting so fucking fat so quickly? Just can't do it. No way I want to explain that line of thought.

Seriously, though...it's like one season he was lean, next season slightly swollen, and the very next season? Boom, fat as fuck. I dunno man.

Time (for) Change

Dear U.S. Government,

The fact that - in the Year of Our Lord 2013 - you can still cause an entire nation to jolt our lives every six months by changing our clocks for no valid reason is all the proof you need: we are fat, lazy, and willing to accept whatever you decide to do to us.

Facebook+

Can you follow Facebook on Google+?

I just blew my own mind.