The New Universal Symbol for Complete Pussy:

First off, settle down.  I am obviously excluding people with legitimate disabilities here. You have a legitimate need to have your vehicle parked close to a ramp or door and I would never in a million years begrudge you that or call you a pussy for taking advantage of it.

However. Yet again, the selfish American asshole public has taken something that was at inception intended to help a group of people with an identified need and instead turned it into something we should all be ashamed of. Here's a simple question you can ask yourself that will illustrate my point:

When was the last time you actually saw a truly disabled person use a disabled parking stall? I bet it's been a long fuckin time.

Now...why give a shit? I mean who cares, right? Here's why: because the front of the store - the one place ALL pedestrian traffic is guaranteed to go - has become a chaotic fuck-fest thanks to the constant free-for-all that occurs from all the misguided slobs who believe that when it comes to parking...closer is better.

Let's stop right there and examine the what, why, and how, because in my estimation, this phenomenon is the root cause of our rampant disabled person (herein referred to as "DP") placard abuse. Are people - and I'm speaking in as broad and general strokes as is possible when discussing humanoids worldwide - are people that fucking lazy that accepting additional liability and additional risk to property is worth not having to walk an extra twenty feet?

NO.  In most cases, they are not that lazy.  In fact, when you factor in additional stress and the alertness required to navigate through a sea of moving vehicles and insane pedestrians, I argue that it actually takes more work to get your vehicle to a close parking stall than it does to park on the edge of the chaos and walk through it.

Hear me out here: what motivates people in this scenario is not avoidance of walking (an activity that millions of people engage in recreationally every day). What motivates people here is the feeling of getting something that's better than what the people around you have...or, the flip side to that same coin (which is worse, if you ask me): not wanting someone else to get something better than what you have.

Really, truly think on that for a moment, and I believe you will realize that I am more right than wrong here.  If you simply cannot, I offer an example: let's say you've just pulled into a parking lot from a busy street.  All the stores are on the opposite side of the parking lot.  You turn down a row of parking stalls and are now pointed in the direction of the store.

All the parking stalls you pass at first are completely empty; since it's a large parking lot, we're talking like a hundred feet of empty stalls.  Now you reach an area where the occasional vehicle is parked.  Up ahead, say fifty feet, where the row of stall ends in a driveway that runs directly across the front of the stores, you note a mass of parked vehicles.

You also note a decent amount of activity: pedestrians walking in random patterns and areas, cars backing, people loading their vehicles, etc.  And just at the front - like twenty feet from the store - you notice an empty parking spot.  

So here's the basis of our scenario: do you stop and park in one of the stalls to your left or right, where there is only the occasional vehicle and virtually no pedestrian traffic at the moment?  This would result in, say, an eighty foot walk to the storefront.

Statistically speaking?  You would not.  If you are like most people, you are going to assume additional risk (liability, property damage, etc.) in an effort to nail down that coveted front stall.  The stall that will cut your walk down from eighty feet to, say, twenty feet.

But why?  Why assume the risk?

Here's why: because if you don't take that spot...someone else will.  Some other fuckin loser slob will get your precious spot, and then they will have a better parking spot than you, and that simply cannot happen.  Am I right?  You know I am, people of America: that is what goes through your mostly-empty head in that scenario.  Well, maybe I'm giving you too much credit - maybe nothing goes through your head and you just barrel forward into the fray without realizing what's motivating you.  Well, now you know.  You're welcome.  Stop and analyze yourselves once in a while, you lazy undisciplined pieces of shit.

And, just so it's been said, anyone willing to assume additional risk (such as in the above scenario) out of fear that someone else will one-up you or get something better than you have?  You are a complete pussy, and a moron to boot.  You are destined for unhappiness, and I am happy for it.

So Hayabusa - what does this have to do with DP placards and plates?  Everything.  DP placard fraud is the final step in this d-evolution of humanity:

As of May of last year, which I believe was 2011, one in ten motorists in California are now legally registered to carry the placards.  That's right - one in ten.  What does that mean?  How does that translate to our reality as Californians?

"At any given moment, on any given street, more than a third of the vehicles displaying the tags -- and parking without paying -- are doing so illegally, say officials with the California Department of Motor Vehicles."

More than a third use the placards illegally to get out of paying for parking?  Wow, you people are priceless.  No reason to believe that estimate doesn't extend to use of parking stalls in parking lots...except for the fact that I think their estimate is far too conservative for typical parking lot parking, given the fact that I can't even recall the last time I saw a genuinely disabled person use a disabled stall.

State of California: I would humbly suggest that you could eliminate over two-thirds of your DP placards and plates and still have plenty left over for all the legitimately disabled people.

However, it's not all bad - there's a flip side to this coin.  I know people who could have legitimately qualified for a placard and they opted not to get one.  Maybe they realized their condition was only temporary, maybe they didn't want to take a parking stall from someone in a condition worse than their own.    Who knows?  All I can say is - there was an intent when the concept of the DP parking stall was devised, and it's nice to see that the spirit of that intent is still alive in some of us.

Think about that, pussies of the world.  I hope that makes you feel just a fraction of your true uselessness.

So, thanks to the behavior of the average American asshole yet again...now when I see the disabled logo (such as at the top of this page) on someone's vehicle, I now imagine someone who needs to get their clock cleaned.  Now when I see a DP placard, more often than not, I am probably fantasizing about disabling the driver for real.  Especially if he or she is in my way.  Get outta my fuckin way already.  Pussy.